There is one thing I keep constantly seeing in terms of those whom are on the Autistic Spectrum and that is that people don't understand/notice what they mean and/or do. I am having this issue right now as I have no idea how to put words together and say what is needed to be said. There is very little understood (for some reason) about this concept of us not knowing how to get our brain and our mouth to communicate together and process what is needed. I keep finding myself saying something and people getting upset because I didn't say what I thought I said or vise versa.
Course this is under the assumption that the person on the spectrum can speak but even in typed messages words can still get construed and it can be quite frustrating.
To the parents:
I know you have a hard time understanding your child or whom ever is on the spectrum. Here is my piece of advice for you.
1) Think Outside the Box- If the child is acting a certain way that does not seem logical then it could be for a very overly obvious reason. I hate to use the reason shootings in Conneticut but I will for the sake of example. If your child is annoyed by the topic it may be that they just want something else to be shown on tv cause they don't want to be hurt anymore by the tragedy. They want everyone to move on. This concept could not be simply thought of and has to be thought out side the box to understand. They may not be able to display the concept in words and the only way they were able to display the information was to get away from it. Or sometimes by acting very irrational such as laughing (maybe thinking of something in there head etc to help escape the thought) or other happy moods even when the subject is brought up.
2) Ask Them- I know this seems obvious but do not feel afraid to ask why they have reacted in such a way that you may not understand. If they get agitated, tell them that they do so to you (if this fact applies). If you ask them ahead of time if you can ask why they act a certain way this will help. Some will feel agitated and angry by it but tell you want to better understand and are curious and wish to understand there methods. This should help lighten the mood. If it still doesn't make sense use past experiences to help gather ideas and theories. Tell them to use words they normally don't use to help describe there emotions and why its happening.
3) Metaphoric or Literal- This is a bit of a tricky one. It's the same issue as describing the Bible. Do you take the passages literally or metaphorically? This will take practice to learn and figure out how there language works when it comes to explaining things. It is the hardest and one of the most customizable things you will have to take part in with your child in some cases. Learn what they mean by certain meanings... such as it hurts (emotionally) and it hurts (physically). This seems obvious to adults and those off the spectrum but for those on the spectrum it is very difficult to decipher sometimes. Mind you this piece of advice goes on further and wider spectrums. You may have to go back to advice 1 to figure this one out. Think outside the box.
For those one the spectrum:
1) Please Be Patient- I know you are agitated with the parent/guardian. You may not make sense to them but keep in mind they don't make sense to you either. Try multiple ways to explain to them why you act or say certain things. Take your time and don't rush. I know that is hard, it is for me. Any time there is confusion take a deep breath and try again with different words and concepts.
2) Be Open- Don't bottle yourself up. Let them know why you act the way you do. If you hold it in and not explain it will be harder when trying to explain things in the long run. This also applies to in general when it comes to admitting and talking about things.
3) See Advice 3 for Parents
I hope this helps in terms of understanding one another. Please leave a comment if you have any questions and I will try to give my input.
Until Next Time,
Peace!
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